A pop-culture relic of 1997 is making a comeback, as they sometimes do. It’s title and author are: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. He has since published a fifth agreement on which I’ll also comment. I review this work not to offend anyone’s sensibilities but in an effort to establish its better suitability to a young audience, hence the title of this exercise.

The principles taught are not false, but I was taught these things as a child, and would like to move on to deeper, more mature issues. Our online fellowship has found the book worthy of weeks of discussion which I find stale, flat, and unprofitable, to quote the Bard. If you are offended, please refer to Item 2 below.

Here are the four agreements. My comments in [brackets].

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say what you mean, avoid gossip, and use your words to spread truth and kindness.

[This is just a bit confusing. So I’m to be flawless with my words and speak them with integrity? Does that mean perfect grammar, enunciation, and diction? “Avoid” gossip? So some gossip is okay as long as…(fill in your favorite gossip justification). What if truth is not kind? What do I speak then? “Impeccable” is not applicable since we are flawed beings incapable of perfection. Clarity and precision are more achievable.]

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
What others say and do is a reflection of their own beliefs and experiences, not a judgment of you.

[Anything? If someone I love expresses love for me, I am not to take that personally? Is that not a judgement of me, and a good one? Since when is “judgment” always negative? You offer vanilla but I choose chocolate, instead. Is my judgment of vanilla negative or preferential? You have agency to consider anything you like about me, true or false. It is up to me to be mindful of truth and appreciate its help in my growth. Falsehoods can be discarded without further discussion, attention, or harm, so calm prevails. Words, contrary to pop-culture conjurers, are not violence. They are simply vibrations in the air, and nothing more. Paraphrasing Schopenhauer: Do not mirror the fool's frenzy.]

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Ask questions and communicate clearly instead of guessing what others think or want.

[Uh, what? Like judgment, assumptions are a valuable a part of life. We assume the car will start when the key is turned or button is pressed. We assume the food we eat will be valuable to our body’s processes. We assume we will wake up in the morning. We assume our autonomic systems will keep us breathing, and physically alive, even though we contributed nothing to the R&D, engineering, or production of the organism. Life is one humbling assumption after the other. The statement makes no sense unless you complete the sentence with what a particular assumption assumes. Illogical general statements with no possible resolutions are not profitable.]

4. Always Do Your Best
Your “best” will change from moment to moment; simply do your best in each situation without self-judgment.

[How do we know if we’ve done our best without self-judgement? Perhaps the meaning is better explained with, “without self-condemnation.” As imperfect mortal beings we are incapable of performing at the level of “best.” Our potential, (our best), extends far beyond our current capabilities. You could effectively say this to a 7-year-old but maturity desires considerably deeper understanding and wisdom.]

In a subsequent effort he adds the fifth:

5. Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

[So are we to approach any situation, or person, having convicted the source of some unnamed guilt? Our legal system might disagree. Negativity is often born of insecurity, self-doubt, and fear of failure, rejection, or loss of control. The point is simple, by their nature, skeptics don’t listen. How does listening solve the underlying personal issues which have little or nothing to do with the subject of our skepticism? Inherent in skepticism is the seed of accusation. Skeptics are accusers. Accusers tend not to listen. Can you spell, S-i-s-y-p-h-u-s?]

And there we have it! Finally, we have the answer to mortality’s salient questions!! What would we do without pop-culture and its mesmerizing word salads. Cited as Toltec in origin and shrouded in supposed mysticism, the author presents this possible ancient wisdom in a format most appealing to children. I don’t mind the wisdom, I’d just like it a bit more…well… It’s like always swimming in the shallow end of the pool. Nothing of any significance happens in the shallow end. It’s the safe move. And it sells books.

In response, here are my Five Meditations:

1. Speak truth with maturity, and wisdom. 
Avoid the noise of the world, and dig deep for true facts not revealed by mainstream or social media. “Seek deep,” to discover those who “hide their counsel.” Then, judge righteously the object of your gifts, that they may be edified. Deeply consider how your world-view is unique. Explanation is better than defense. Seek commonality. Persuade with empirical evidence and shun coercion.

2. Be rational and intelligent With Others 
Treat others as you would be treated. Deal justly. Be harmless. Consider other’s opinions as valuable, if they are, and worthless if they aren’t. Exercise emotional resilience and calm indifference to aggression. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Wise words from The Christian Recorder (March 22, 1862), a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church. 

3. Be Careful of the Assumptions You Make.
Perspectives differ. Baggage may conflict without fault. Allow for correction and bend like the reed. Like Moroni, qualify assumptions with if-then-else structures. Most of all, humbly hold the notion that, "I could be wrong."

4. Always do your best, to do you best.
“Be ye perfect,” when translated more precisely, means finished, or complete. We are commanded to finish the course, learn all we can, and to grow accordingly. Mortal perfection was only possible for one man. For us, it’s mission impossible for reasons we’ll learn after. So we do our best, to do our best. Such constant effort is entirely attainable in mortality.

5. Trust, but Verify.
Begin with the positive until proven wrong. With humility and a desire for understanding of circumstance, be enlightened by the Spirit. Reflect honor with your trustworthiness. Justly consider evidence and act accordingly, with confidence. Be gentle, but fearless.

We’re wading toward the middle of the pool now so let’s dig deeper. Social interaction becomes easier the more like our Savior we become. He is affable, but He isn’t a pushover or glad-hander. Our salvation is serious business. It is His business and He's very good at it!

The explicit invitation in James, trusted by Joseph Smith, began the Restoration. That was truth. Our Lord is trustworthy and His honor is impeccable. You can count on Him without fail. Now we have our example. “For the spirit speaketh the truth, and lieth not; wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be.”  (RE RC Jacob 3:4; LDS Jacob 4:13)

Now the trick is to be meek, (meaning teachable), to enable the Spirit to teach truth. The Spirit will not teach truth which will be used as a weapon. We’ve all seen those who are convinced they are led by the Spirit, and insist on it. They’re led by a spirit, all right, just not the one you want. Be guided by “things as they are” not as others might have them be, but which are false.

An important point to remember is about spiritual gifts. We are unique in so many ways and gifts of the Spirit are just as unique. A search of the scriptures for “gifts of the Spirit” will provide ample evidence. All have gifts we bring with us. Not all have the same gifts. Why, then, do we envy those with gifts we lack while we fail to develop our own?

Not recognizing the spiritual gifts of others may lead to unrighteous judgements. We may not know that a person quickly judged as being inferior, is, in fact, one to whom God gave the very gift we seek for help. Never, ever underestimate the value of another human being, who might just be the answer to your prayer.

Life is, without question, complicated. I have found, that offense, is often a misunderstanding based on false assumptions which we find offensive. That’s the long way around. I rather like the phrase: If someone offers offense, don’t take it. If we are weak and insecure, it might be easier to take offense where none is intended than to think it through with rationality and intelligence. Weakness and insecurity can only be cured with study, realizations, (as in world-view paradigm shifts), sacrifice, and work.

Truth exists. It is independent of our abilities or knowledge. Truth is not dependent on our acknowledgment of its existence. Mortals have no capability over truth, either to create, modify, or destroy it. Truth existed before any of us were mortally born and it will continue after we exit. Truth is not dependent on any of us. And yet some fall victim to an illusion of their own making, and develop a savior complex. Other’s skins are purposefully thin as they move from suffering one offense after the other.

We seem to fall into three very general camps; those who are absolutely rock-hard sure they’re right and won’t budge, those who are emotionally fearful and respond to every advance with a defensive spirit or a need to qualify truth with inaccuracy, and then there are those who have realized and are repentant of their wicked ways, and seek rationality and intelligence. The first, is either unaware or uncaring of their offensive nature and the second, is unaware of their default to offense-suffering. Neither is a particularly satisfying approach to truth. The third, on any issue, always holds out that they could be wrong. Our current society has lost it’s reverence for truth. Truth is treated like a kindly myth. Today’s truth is always subjective and subject to modification. Have we adopted such grossly false philosophy?

Then there is illusion, an opposite of truth. Gary Null, PhD, describes our situation with a valuable and instructive summary: 

“We live inside an illusion-industrial complex—a coordinated ecosystem of marketing, media, entertainment, psychology, and now artificial intelligence—all designed to sell us a version of happiness that has nothing to do with the real thing.

“Modern unhappiness is not an accident. It is the predictable outcome of a culture engineered to keep you dissatisfied—because dissatisfaction keeps you consuming. A happy person is a terrible customer; a centered person is an unresponsive target; a grounded person is immune to manipulation.

“Illusions don’t just fail to nourish you—they drain you.
They create a hunger that can never be satisfied, because the hunger itself was manufactured.

“There is only one cure for illusion, and it isn’t more striving.
The cure is truth—truth about who you are and who you are not.

“But most people fear that truth. They fear the stillness that would reveal it. They fear the responsibility that comes with it. And so they stay in motion, hoping constant activity will distract them from the quiet, honest voice inside.

“It never works.

“You are not the sum of your labels.
“You are not the sum of your wounds.
“You are not the sum of your illusions.

“You are something far more enduring, far more luminous, and far more capable of happiness than the world has led you to believe.” (Gary Null, PhD, Happiness in The Age Of Illusion, https://garynull.com/happiness-in-the-age-of-illusion/)

Today’s social fantasizers seek our attention with emotional propaganda designed to make us think that evil really, really likes us, and has our best interests at heart. We have examples of beings in white bidding us follow only to trapse around for forever on literary walks to nowhere until the Lord rescues us. Why is white the default for “good?” Our Lord descended to the Nephites at Bountiful dressed in white. Oh yeah, Satan copies and then brings chains.

“But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who secretly shall bring in abominable heresies…and through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you, whose judgment now of a long time lingers not, and their destruction slumbers not.” (RE 2Peter 1:6; LDS 2Peter 2:2)

I’m not suggesting that The Four Agreements is an abominable heresy unless it puts you to sleep, ending the search for deeper, more satisfying truth. And if you’re not certain there is deeper, more satisfying truth, let me suggest that as mortals, we really don’t have much of a clue about much of anything. So we pretend.

“Up to us is laying down prideful emotion, and releasing the need to control. Control, after all, is another illusion, along with privacy. We are in an ongoing movie starring ourselves. All we can do is humbly offer our will. That is all we really own—our agency. After that, it’s all His. This process of learning and growth will continue for a bit more until we reach a point of substance. Rationality and intelligence are characteristics of substance.

"May we understand that we are not yet able to offer anything of substance to the Lord. We are like a five-year-old who wanders into a physics lab and asks to be useful. About all the physicist can do is hand the child a broom and dustpan and hope for the best. 

“We do not know enough nor are we capable enough to please the Lord any more than that 5-year-old could contribute anything worthwhile to the physicist’s efforts in the lab. And yet we fancy ourselves learned. And we use vain emotion to justify our efforts as meaningful. While, objectively, we are less than the dust.

“A rational and intelligent being understands these things. A rational and intelligent being seeks the most understanding and knowledge regardless of the emotional cost. A rational and intelligent being is willing to lay all on the alter of sacrifice for the Lord, to gain knowledge and intelligence. A rational and intelligent being seeks the face of the Lord, as he promised and commanded we should. A rational and intelligent being seeks truth, as deep and satisfying as mortality will allow. And never stops digging.” 1

"...care for the soul and for the life of the soul. And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience you may possess your souls, and you shall have eternal life." 
(LDS D&C 101:37-38; RE T&C 101:6)

“Do not say that I have spoken hard things against you, for if ye do, ye will revile against the truth; for I have spoken the words of your Maker. ... I know that the words of truth are hard against all uncleanness, but the righteous fear them not, for they love the truth and are not shaken.” (LDS 2 Nephi 9:40; CE 2 Nephi 6:11)

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath — for the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God.”
(LDS James 1:19-20; RE Ep. Jacob 1:5)

“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits — whether they are of God — because many false prophets are gone out into the world...They are of the world, therefore speak they of the world and the world hears them.”
(LDS 1 John 4:1-6; RE 1 John 1:18)

1 (Michael George, quoting from Rational and Intelligent Beings, and Inerrancy vs Reality, https://www.celestialthoughts.com/index.cfm?RP=3&PstRef=74  https://www.celestialthoughts.com/index.cfm?RP=3&PstRef=44 )